Category Talking To Your People

Beyond Command & Control: How Vulnerability Unlocks Your Team’s True Potential

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People, The First Team & Organizational Health, Uncategorized

Last week, we explored the leadership lessons developed amid the heat and uncertainty of this year’s wildfire season—understanding the entire playing board, leading with humanity, and communicating with candour.

These principles are universal in any crisis, which is why they prompted me to reflect on the lessons I have gained from other seasoned leadership mentors who shared profound insights with me.  Their experiences and the principles they championed resonate deeply with the challenges many organizations face in genuinely unlocking human potential.

The Imperative of Leader Role-Modelling

A central theme was the crucial importance of leaders actively role-modelling behaviours such as vulnerability, transparency, and trust. Without this, it is unrealistic to expect teams to tap into their innovative and creative capacities, which harness “what is on people’s shoulders.” This serves as a stark reminder that, in many settings, we still fall short of fully engaging the intellectual and emotional capital of our people.

Bridging the “See-Speak Up” Gap

Crucially, the conversation highlighted the gap between individuals noticing issues or opportunities and speaking up about them.  Closing this gap depends on fostering psychological and organizational safety.  This isn’t just a “nice-to-have”; it’s fundamental.  When people fear reprisal or feel their voice doesn’t matter, valuable insights are lost, risks remain unaddressed, and potential stays dormant.

Shifting Power with Intent-Driven Leadership

An “intent-driven leadership” model directly addresses this by promoting the delegation of decision-making authority and articulating intent to those closest to the work.  This signifies a radical departure from top-down directives.  My own transformative journey as an infantry section commander involved learning to stop giving orders and instead empower my team to articulate their intentions.  I would describe it as learning a “language of uncertainty, ambiguity, and vulnerability.”

Understanding Vulnerability

Vulnerability, in this context, isn’t weakness; it’s about self-awareness and inviting feedback.  It involves understanding what we know about ourselves, what others know, our blind spots, and the hidden aspects.  Actively seeking feedback, even on personal interaction styles (e.g., “How well did I listen in that meeting?”), is crucial.  

I have expressed my past discomfort with this.   Recently, I met a high-ranking naval officer who admitted that confronting a potential enemy combatant was easier than asking his team for feedback on his performance as their leader.

This resonates: true strength lies in the courage to seek and act on such feedback.

The Fallacy of Command and Control in Modern Work

Read more about the top-down fallacy

My reflections highlighted how outdated industrial-age models—where one group thinks and another does—are.  This legacy, still evident in many organizational structures and even language (“white collar/blue collar”), is no longer fit for purpose.

In today’s complex world, the idea that a select few hold all the answers is false.  The goal should be to create environments where those doing the work can make decisions about the job, fostering alignment and clarity of purpose while allowing freedom in execution.

Human Potential: The Greatest Untapped Resource

The most significant “waste” in organizations isn’t process inefficiency; rather, it is the untapped human potential – the creativity, ideas, and passion stifled by environments that prioritize compliance over contribution.  When people come to work merely to be told what to do, their brains are effectively left at the door.  

Intent-driven organizations, in contrast, operate with a bias for action (“yes, unless there’s a no”), fueled by transparency, which, in turn, builds trust.  A critical point here is that leaders must act trustworthily rather than simply demanding trust.

Leadership as a Practiced Language

Effectively, this shift necessitates learning and consistently practising a new language of leadership.  It’s not about one-time training days, but rather a more sustained effort.  

The words that leaders choose, their responses to ideas (whether with curiosity or dismissal), and their approach to conducting meetings all contribute to the overall environment. Emphasis should be placed on practice within the real-world context of the organization.

Structure Enables Freedom

A crucial counterintuitive point is that structure provides freedom, not chaos.  Clear boundaries, such as the lines on a sports field or the principles in a founding document, enable individuals to operate with confidence up to the edge.

Without a clear understanding of these boundaries, teams tend to become risk-averse.

Investing in People is a Long-Term, Uncertain Bet

Read more about the difference between High-Performance & High-Potential

Ultimately, the commitment to investing in people is inherently long-term and carries uncertainty.  It requires leaders to resist the temptation to merely provide answers and instead nurture their team’s ability to think critically and develop solutions.

This represents a wager on future capability over immediate, small wins.  Nevertheless, it is the only way to foster a genuinely empowered and self-sufficient team, breaking the cycle of dependency on the leader.

This conversation served as a potent reminder that re-humanizing work is not merely a lofty ideal; it is a strategic necessity.  It involves creating environments where individuals can express their authentic selves, contribute meaningfully, and collectively accomplish far more than any top-down approach could hope to achieve.

Access Our Complimentary Organizational Health Assessment Survey

What is the condition of your Organization's Culture? Take this quick organizational culture survey and get a snapshot of your organization's overall health, as well as advice on how to start transforming your organization today. TAKE THE SURVEY NOW
Click Here

Unlock Understanding: 5 Questions to Navigate Strong Disagreements

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People, Uncategorized

In a world of increasingly polarized opinions, truly understanding someone with whom you strongly disagree can feel like an impossible task.  But what if the key lies not in arguing harder but in asking smarter?  Research by Philip Fernbach (https://www.philipfernbach.com/) offers a fascinating insight, particularly around what he calls the “illusion of explanatory depth”: people often overestimate their understanding of complex issues.  This overestimation can be a barrier; however, it also presents an opportunity for growth.

Find Philip’s book here: https://www.amazon.ca/Knowledge-Illusion-Never-Think-Alone/dp/039918435X

The Hidden Gap: The Illusion of Explanatory Depth

Fernbach’s work suggests that we often believe we understand complex topics with a clarity we don’t truly possess.  However, when gently encouraged to explain the actual mechanics or detailed implications of our beliefs, we may notice the gaps in our understanding.  This moment of recognition—realizing we don’t grasp something as well as we thought—can make us more receptive to other viewpoints and less fixated on our initial stance. It’s not about proving someone wrong but about inviting a more thorough exploration of what they believe and why.

Bridging the Gap: Questions for Deeper Understanding

So, how can we leverage this psychological insight in our conversations?  Inspired by Fernbach’s research, here are five questions designed to help you bridge the understanding gap when faced with strongly differing opinions.  These aren’t “gotcha” questions; when approached with genuine curiosity, they serve as invitations to explore the landscape of belief together.

  1. The “How Exactly?” Question: “Could you walk me through the step-by-step process of how you see [their stated policy/idea] achieving its intended goals?  What are the key mechanisms at play?”
    • Why It Works: This question directly taps into the “illusion of explanatory depth.” Instead of debating the overarching goal itself, you’re directing curiosity towards the implementation and the presumed causal chain.  It encourages the other person to move beyond a general assertion to a more detailed explanation—a process that may uncover complexities or unforeseen obstacles they hadn’t fully considered.
  1. The “Ripple Effect” Question: “If [their stated policy/idea] were put into action, what do you anticipate as some of the immediate and longer-term consequences, both positive and negative, across various areas or groups?”
    • Why it Works: This encourages them to consider the broader, multifaceted impacts of their position.  The conversation can then shift from a simplistic “right vs. wrong” dichotomy to a more nuanced discussion of various outcomes and potential trade-offs.   Acknowledging possible negative consequences (even if they firmly believe the positives outweigh them) demonstrates a more comprehensive and thoughtful consideration of the issue at hand.
  1. The “Foundations” Question: “What are some of the underlying assumptions or core principles that lead you to this particular conclusion about [the issue]? Can you help me understand how those principles apply here?”
    • Why it Works: This question gently seeks to uncover the foundational values or beliefs that shape their opinion.  Understanding their starting point, even if you do not personally agree with it, can make their position more comprehensible and less arbitrary or inexplicable. It’s about seeing the architecture of their argument from the ground up.
  1. The “Devil’s Advocate” Question: “If you were trying to explain the strongest arguments against your position to someone who agreed with you, how would you phrase them? What aspects of those counterarguments, if any, do you find have some validity, even if they don’t change your overall view?”
    • Why it Works: This encourages individuals to engage with opposing views in a charitable manner and demonstrates that they have genuinely considered alternatives.  It can be a powerful method to highlight potential areas of common ground or, at the very least, to foster a mutual acknowledgment of the issue’s complexity.
  1. The “What If?” Question: “What kind of evidence or scenario might lead you to reconsider or modify your current view on [the issue]?”
    • Why it Works: This question investigates the circumstances in which their view may be falsifiable or adaptable.  A readiness to consider what could change their mind often indicates an openness to further learning and discussion.  Conversely, an inability to conceive of any such evidence may suggest a more dogmatic or closed stance.  Critically, it also helps clarify the very foundation of their conviction and what supports it.

The Gentle Art of Asking

It’s crucial to remember that the power of these questions lies significantly in their delivery. 

When you ask, your tone should express genuine curiosity and non-judgment. 

The objective isn’t to “trap” them in an intellectual corner or to “win” the argument. 

Instead, the goal is to foster a deeper mutual understanding by encouraging detailed explanations and thoughtful self-reflection—both for them and, quite possibly, for yourself.

Read  about ‘No Good Can Come Out of a Conversation That Starts With You Idiot

Towards More Meaningful Dialogue

Navigating disagreements is rarely easy, but by drawing on insights such as the “illusion of explanatory depth,” we can equip ourselves with more constructive tools for addressing them.  

These questions aren’t magic wands; however, they offer a pathway to move beyond surface-level arguments, uncover hidden complexities, and perhaps find unexpected commonalities or, at the very least, a clearer understanding of why someone holds their views.

In a world that often feels fractured, fostering a bit more understanding can go a long way.

Thanks for reading. Please reply at any time with questions or feedback for our Team.

When you’re ready, here are a few ways we can help:

  1. Work with me 1:1: Book a coaching or strategy session to help you achieve your goals for 2025 and beyond!
  2. Book me for your next keynote or event. This message is not just “another keynote.” It inspires, engages, and accelerates you, your Team, and your organization to success!
  3. Organizational Consulting: I have never met a leadership Team that was too stupid to be successful, but he has met teams that were too dysfunctional to succeed.

    I am a consultant for leaders who want to make their organizations more effective & more robust. And I do two things:

    • I help leadership teams become more robust, better aligned, and clear about their work. I also help develop culture and employees.
    • I help organizations struggling with politics, confusion, morale, productivity, turnover, wasted time, money, and energy.

7 Check Up Questions To Diagnose Your Team

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People, The First Team & Organizational Health, Uncategorized

It’s straightforward to be on a sports Team.  You know your position, what is expected, and who’s with you and who’s against you.

The rules are clear.

In organizations, things are more ambiguous.  Often, you’re not entirely clear about your role, the expectations placed on you, the expectations of others, the rules, and what success looks like.

Let me offer a model to check the health of your Team and make things clear.

Each section considers the people you serve and those you work with.

Vision

Often, “teams” are a loose collection of people who happen to work on the same project and usually appear more like a conglomerate and less like a single unit.

Simon Sinek would ask, ‘Why.’

In other words, what are we all working to achieve?

If there’s no shared vision, is this even a Team?

Two questions you might wrestle with:

Who are we helping?

To successfully serve, you need to know who you serve.  Savvy marketers make their ideal customers’ avatars real.

Who is your Team serving?

What dent are we making?

If you step away from the inbox and your calendar for a moment, what can your team achieve?

What will be different if your Team is successful in all they do?

If that’s unclear or just a little bit “meh,” then perhaps there’s work to be done to clarify the why.

Read more about the importance of clear missions.

Communications

What’s the data?

Communication has two parts: the data (the facts) and the judgments (our opinions about the facts).

What’s interesting is just how easily we slip from one to the other or how quickly judgments come to resemble facts.

As you make decisions as a Team, ask yourselves, “What do we know to be true?”

What do you want?

An essential element of leading teams is understanding wants and needs.

If you find yourself at odds with someone on your Team, one of the most powerful things you can do is ask them what they want and share what you need.

First, it’s shocking how hard it can be to articulate what you want.

Second, it’s shocking how quickly that knowledge can remove superficiality and focus the conversation on what matters.

Read about communicating

Connection

Who matters?

You can’t treat everyone as if they were equally important to the Team’s goals and ambitions.

Who’s on the A-List among your stakeholders? If you could have only five names, who would they be?

I bet that you’re probably underserving your ‘A-List.’ How could you give them the support and service that they deserve?

Who is on the B-List? You are probably over-serving these stakeholders.

How can you scale back here, so you can direct more time and effort to your A-List?

Accountability

What’s the promise we’re making, and to whom?

Our very first question was, “Who are we helping?”

Now ask, “What’s the promise we’re making to them, and how are we doing delivering on that promise?”

Where are the soft spots?

Where do you need to lift your game?

How can I help?

Ironically,  one of the ways we break promises is by over-delivering

We think we know what’s wanted, so rather than check it out and get clear, we leap in and start doing stuff.

Before rushing in, slow down and clarify how you can help them.  Sk, “What do you need from me?”

 

Final Thoughts

Here is your four-point health check for your Team.

The questions may not always be easy to answer, but the answers are vital to your success.

Get clear on the questions, and you will raise your Team’s impact, happiness and focus.

Are You ‘Off Message’? How Misaligned Communication Kills Execution

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People, Uncategorized

Based on Team of teams: New rules of engagement for a complex world*. Portfolio/Penguin.

Seriously, we’re drowning in noise. Everywhere you look, someone is shouting a message at you, and as leaders, we’re supposed to cut through that noise.

The problem is that most of us try to do it by following a pre-approved, focus-grouped script. That’s a big mistake; that stuff sounds completely fake.

Think about it. When was the last time some boardroom-crafted speech made you feel something? Never.

It’s all sterile and robotic. In a world where AI tries to fake authenticity, we need the real deal more than ever.

Why “On Script” is a Total Fail

Get the 27 powerful, open-ended questions that will improve your communication.

Newsflash: people aren’t robots.

We don’t process information like some algorithms do. We filter it through our biases and experiences. We respond to emotion. That’s why corporate talking points make everyone roll their eyes. Nobody believes them.

You appeal to the receiver’s emotions. Otherwise, it’s just noise.

Forget Buzzwords, Build a Story

We need to abandon top-down messaging and share stories that connect. Stories that evoke emotions. Stories that empower individuals. Stories that foster trust. And that story requires a few key ingredients:

  • Trust: People need to have faith in you. They must know that they can communicate with you openly.
  • Shared Understanding: Everyone must be on the same page, not only regarding what, but also why.
  • Empowered Execution: The people on the ground understand the situation. Allow them to take charge. They will adapt the message to fit their reality.

Six Strategies to Connect with Empathy, But Lead with Compassion

The “Feel” Factor: The Secret Sauce You’re Missing

We all know stories move us. Great writers, musicians, and even brands get it.

But companies? They’re so busy telling people what to do that they forget to consider how people feel. They’re missing the point.

If you want people to listen, care, and take action, you must connect with them on an emotional level.

Be The CRO – 2 Ways to Communicate with Clarity

Ditch the script.

Tell a real story.

And make them feel something.

That’s how you cut through the noise.

Thanks for reading. Please reply at any time with questions or feedback for our Team.

When you’re ready, here are a few ways we can help:

  1. Work with me 1:1: Book a coaching or strategy session to help you achieve your goals for 2025 and beyond!
  2. Book me for your next keynote or event. This message is not just “another keynote.” It inspires, engages, and accelerates you, your Team, and your organization to success!
  3. Organizational Consulting: I have never met a leadership Team that was too stupid to be successful, but he has met teams that were too dysfunctional to succeed.

    I am a consultant for leaders who want to make their organizations more effective & more robust. And I do two things:

    • I help leadership teams become more robust, better aligned, and clear about their work. I also help develop culture and employees.
    • I help organizations struggling with politics, confusion, morale, productivity, turnover, wasted time, money, and energy.

How Do You Want People to View Your Advice?

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People

Advice.

As leaders, we give quite a bit of it—so much that we probably don’t think that much about it. We need to think much more about it. We need to consider it in three dimensions: why we are delivering it, how we are delivering it, and what we want people to do with it.

Let’s look at each dimension.

Why Are You Giving Advice?

I believe that whether we are thinking about it or not, every time we give advice to anyone (as a leader, parent, spouse, friend, or stranger), we are considering that advice somewhere on the scale between taking it as gospel (do it exactly like this) and its guidance (here’s something to consider). But these two goals aren’t exact or perfect – instead, we see our advice somewhere on this scale:

In my experience, most leaders consistently place their goal for advice on this continuum, whether based on habit or style or without even thinking.

We call the tension between the ends, both/and thinking, the underpinning of being a flexible leader.

There are times when the context warrants your goal being far to the “gospel” left (when the context is clear and the outcomes and situation are known), and times when perhaps there are many unknowns and your experience might be helpful but should be seen on the “guidance” right side of the scale. Even given those considerations, you might have goals for delegating and developing your Team members, leading you to lean to the right or left on this continuum.

First, I would suggest that you be clear about your intention—why are you giving this advice, and how do you want others to use it? If you don’t think about that, how people interpret your advice will be left to their perception, which might not match your goals or needs.

What Do You Want Them to Do with It?

Your answer to this question flows from your intention. Consider this situation and these two employees. You face an apparent problem. You have seen this situation or challenge before and have successfully overcome it with a specific set of reliable steps.

One has been on your Team for a couple of months. He shows promise but lacks extensive experience and doesn’t know all the players involved in the situation well.

The other has been on your Team longer. She does have experience with this situation. She also shows great promise and is ready for advancement and skill development.

I propose that each employee has different contexts, so your intentions for each differ. Based on this information, even though you have a proven process each could follow, you should have slightly different goals for each.

I might lean the intention of my advice to the left for less experienced – giving him more of a “how to” approach and more to the right for the other – giving her guidance and things to consider.

Note that your current intention concerns your experience and knowledge and how you want others to apply it.

Hopefully, it will be in a way that makes either Joel or Jael crystal clear on your expectations.

How are You Delivering it?

The big idea is that your delivery should match your intention and desired action.

Given your positional power, if you want people to follow your advice verbatim, deliver it clearly and maybe even pointedly. If you have a current approach and want them to follow it, clarify it.

But if you want your advice to be seen as guidance – and more suggestion than imperative – make sure that is clear, too. You will likely want to use a softer tone and delivery as well.

As “the boss,” people may likely default to a “yes, boss” belief about your intent unless you are clear about yourself and with them.

Thanks for reading. Please reply at any time with questions or feedback for our Team.

When you’re ready, here are a few ways we can help:

  1. Work with me 1:1: Book a coaching or strategy session to help you achieve your goals for 2025 and beyond!
  2. Book me for your next keynote or event. This message is not just “another keynote.” It inspires, engages, and accelerates you, your Team, and your organization to success!
  3. Organizational Consulting: I have never met a leadership Team that was too stupid to be successful, but he has met teams that were too dysfunctional to succeed.

    I am a consultant for leaders who want to make their organizations more effective & more robust. And I do two things:

    • I help leadership teams become more robust, better aligned, and clear about their work. I also help develop culture and employees.
    • I help organizations struggling with politics, confusion, morale, productivity, turnover, wasted time, money, and energy.

As Curious Leaders, What Are The Right The Questions to Ask

by Steve A Blog, Talking To Your People, Uncategorized

How many open-ended, idea-prompting questions do you ask every day?

Do you ask more questions than you give orders or provide answers?

Recently, I worked with a client, and we explored the vital topic of curiosity as a leadership attribute and questioning as a behaviour.

At the start of the work, most individuals assumed their ratio of questions-to-orders/answers would be high.

Read about why leaders need to be curious.

It was their belief they were curious and used open-ended, provocative questions about customers, markets, competitors, processes and so forth. One manager offered, “It’s my job to help them think about the possibilities, not provide the answers.“

Imagine their surprise when a survey of their direct reports demonstrated that their directives and answers significantly outnumbered questions.

I was once called out for blathering instead of listening. I was disappointed to admit that I tended to opine and answer rather than stimulate thinking through listening and questions.

Moving the ratio in the right direction became a developmental exercise for me.

And here’s why I believe this is so important.

 

Questions are the Seeds of Ideas and Innovations

In a world drunk on the speed of change and filled with uncertainty, the right questions provoke thinking and give way to actions, experiments, and ideas that provoke more questions and beget more ideas.

As the leader, you set the tone for curiosity in your team. Questions free people to think, speculate, and follow threads to strengthen some aspect of the business.

Read about the power of silence in conversations

What Is Your  Ratio?

For the next few days, keep a log of the number of times you ask open-ended, exploratory questions (“Did you finish that work?” doesn’t count!) versus issuing answers or directives.

If your ratio is skewed toward the questions, keep it up. If not, here are some question prompts to put to work as part of your developmental activity.

 

7 Questions to Stimulate Curiosity on Your Team

1. “What if?”

  • “What if we develop a new product that eats our old one in the marketplace. Will it eat the competitor’s as well?”
  • “What if we changed this process to empower our employees to make decisions directly with customers without seeking approval from a manager?
  • “What if we changed our view of who our real competition is in the marketplace?”

 2. “What do you know that is new?” Former GE Chairman and CEO Jack Welch, upon first meeting someone would ask, “What do you know that is new?” and took the time to listen to the answers.

6 essential questions that are good for children & employees

3. “What do we need to know to make this decision?” Most decision-making processes are fraught with incomplete data, opinions, and biases. This simple question challenges groups and individuals to consider a problem before making an informed choice.

4. “What does this mean for us/our customers?” I use this question liberally when changes in the external environment, industry, or competitor announcements send everyone into panic mode.

5. “How would you approach this situation if you framed it as an opportunity instead of a problem?” This question forces people to move beyond their defensive mode and into the world of possibilities.

6. “What events in markets and technologies will change everything? This question moves people beyond the four-wall and inside-out thinking.

7. “What are the real burdens our customers hire our products to remove?” Reframing questions about what your products and services do to resolve customers’ problems is a great way to rethink your innovation efforts.

 Read about leadership regrets.

Closing Thoughts

If you ask more open-ended, thought-provoking questions, the number of ideas people and teams generate will grow.

Of course, you have to bring those ideas to life.

But for the moment, focus on asking more and directing less.

And see where it takes you.

Remember, your curiosity is contagious.

π