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As a young leader in the Army, I used to ask my soldiers: ‘How are you doing?’

Guess what the answers were. Fine. Good. Okay.

What did I gain from those conversations? Nothing useful.

A mentor suggested that I start asking:

• What are you doing?
• Do you understand why you are doing this?
• When did you eat last?
• What do you need to help you do your job?

Read more about how to use silence to ask questions

I started getting information that was much more valuable in helping to understand what was going on.

Great questions can reveal tremendous information.

The questions you ask as a leader can reveal the values you hold, your priorities, and reinforce behaviours which you may or may not like. 

But too often, leaders reveal the gaps that exist between what they say and what they want and do.

Here are four questions leaders should be asking themselves.

1. What would a great leader do at this moment?

Imagine framing your perspective with the lens of what great leaders would do in the situation in which you find yourself.

The standard is raised immediately for the options available, the best actions to pursue, and the right words to use.

Great leaders ask this question to push themselves beyond their limitations, biases and planning assumptions.

2. What did I do today to enable my team to be better, or did I do something that held my team back?

Leaders touch everyone with their actions and in their conversations.  Often, there are unintended consequences from what they do and say.

Read about the 6 Essential Questions You Can Ask Children & Employees

Great leaders constantly review, assess and learn from what they do and say making adjustments along the way, revealing their value of continual learning.

3. If I could do one thing in the next 10 minutes, what would be the best thing to do?

Time management is critical as a leader.

When a meeting ends early, great leaders seize upon the found sliver of time to invest in getting things done, which usually involves building a relationship with an employee.

Your behaviour during these slivers of found time reveals your priorities.

4. Who’s hiding from me?  Who haven’t I met with recently?

While it’s easy to rationalize that an employee is working well on their own, is independent and self-motivated, great leaders know that relationships with all employees need tending.

Sustaining and growing inter-personal relationships with employees earn the leader the right to lead.

Growing your leadership impact requires you to reach beyond the limits of your personality and style.  And it’s in those moments of stretch that you begin to build your leadership muscles.

Read about the 3 questions that would have stopped me from wasting $20,000

Coaching Thoughts

1. Think back over the last several conversations you’ve had with employees and consider what values do you think you revealed?
2. In each meeting you have over the next 48 hours, write/type ‘What Would a Great Leader Do’ at the top of your notes. Then grab a coffee and reflect on the experiment.

Do you have a million things to do that each seem as important as the next?  

These are called competing priorities, and they can get in the way of your success if they aren’t managed appropriately.

In a survey of my blog readers, competing priorities were identified as a leading cause of distraction.

There are cartloads of theories that explain how to develop, communicate, and make decisions based on priorities. 

But…

I have a very simple piece of advice for you.

If what you’re working on isn’t moving you towards your goals and objectives, why are you working on it at all?

Read more about goals and getting things done

Here’s another way of looking at it. Ask yourself this question every time something new comes up: “How does this project or opportunity get me closer to my goals?”

We’re often not making choices that bring us closer to achieving our goals. 

That’s why I’ve put together these three helpful tricks that can help you manage competing priorities and determine what you should focus your attention on.

1. Check in with your boss.

If you aren’t sure what your priorities are, you had better hustle down the hall and talk to your boss or your board. 

One of their first responsibilities is to help you understand what’s most important.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to your boss for help managing competing priorities. Chances are, they’ve been in the same boat and will have some great insight. 

Click here to read more about talking to your boss

2. Check in with others.

If your tasks involve other people, talk to them. 

Find out when they need your help or if they can lend a hand. In some cases, they may not need your deliverable right away. Other times, they might not be as busy as you are and they could help you out.

Utilize your coworkers and other people involved, and you never know how it could help you manage all of the tasks on your plate.

3. Manage expectations.

Once you’ve determined what you should tackle first, put it in writing and share it with everyone involved. 

This sets expectations for when you’ll get your work done. When expectations are sufficiently managed and communicated, you’ll be able to get a handle on the most critical  tasks you need to complete.

When it comes to managing competing priorities, we know that reaching out to our bosses and coworkers is a significant first step. Next, it’s up to you to manage expectations by putting these priorities in writing. 

Before you know it, you’ll be a pro at managing competing priorities and handling whatever life throws at you. 

If you’re interested in going deeper or moving your career to the next level, you’ll also want to have a look at my 1-on-1 coaching services.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check these out, too:

Six Tips to Partner With Your Boss
3 Priorities To Plan For Your Business’ Survival
The 6T’s To Know What To Delegate

This article was originally published on May 31, 2018, and has been updated.

Just because every organization uses these management practices, does not make them effective:

• To achieve management excellence, you need to avoid faulty management practices
• Managing individual behavior is the answer but it requires an understanding of the basic behavior-based principles that drive good performance

Here are 13 of the most commonly used and misguided management practices and what to do instead.

#1 Employee Of the Month:

What’s wrong?

A program meant to motivate all employees to deliver superior performance can only have one monthly winner. The others are left with performances that go unrecognized — violating every known principle of effective positive reinforcement.

What to do instead!

Understand what you want to achieve as a result of this kind of program, and then establish an initiative based on criteria that recognizes all employees who deliver outstanding performance.

#2 Stretch goals

What’s wrong?

It is proven that people fail to reach stretch goals 90% of the time. The primary reason: stretch goals are typically set too high.

What to do instead!

Set many, mini-goals. To get the kind of improvement an organization needs, in both people and production, managers need to ensure that positive reinforcement is delivered for the many small achievements along the way to reaching the larger, desired goal.

#3 Performance appraisals

What’s wrong?

Any system that doesn’t recognize performance as it’s happening misses the opportunity to get the most and best from employees.

What to do instead!

Set up an environment in which each employee knows how well he or she has done at the end of every working day. Evaluate each performer against what he or she is expected to do, not in relation to others.

#4 Ranking

What’s wrong?

Your competition is outside your organization, not inside. Publicly displaying how employees rank based on objective measures breeds unhealthy competition and inhibits sharing and teamwork.

What to do instead!

Evaluate individuals and units in terms of what they need to accomplish, rather than comparing their performance to others’. When the conditions are right, people will not only achieve at high rates but also assist others in doing the same.

#5 “you did a good job, but…”

What’s wrong?

It has become commonplace to provide positive and constructive feedback. While it seems efficient to do both at once, the positive statement rarely has the intended effect and employees end up focusing only on the negative.

What to do instead!

Be clear to separate the good and the bad. Give the good first, and at a later time deliver the corrective feedback. That way the good will be valued, and the employee will be more responsive to the corrective feedback.

#6 the sandwich

What goes wrong?

The sandwich practice is a cousin of the “you did a good job, but…” And creates a “waiting for the other shoe to drop” environment where attempts at social reinforcement are received with suspicion.

What to do instead!

Be direct. If behavior needs correcting, pinpoint the behavior to be stopped: tell the person the consequences of continuing the Undesirable behavior. Then discuss the behavior you want to see in its place and positively reinforce all instances of the new behavior.

#7 overvaluing smart, talented people

What’s wrong!

Smart, talented people are not in short supply. Thinking that some employees are smarter than others is harmful to all.

What to do instead!

Most of what we call talent is nothing more than unrecognized practice. Given the right environment, most people can become “smart and talented.” Create a culture where managers are rewarded for the number of “smart, talented people” they produce — not hire.

 #8 promoting people no one likes

What’s wrong?

There is a perception in leadership that managers who are well- liked are not effective at producing results. There is a correlation between ineffective managers and other operational costs: high turnover, grievances, absenteeism, training, and recruitment.

What to do instead!

Look for managers and leaders who get results the right way: those who understand behavior from a scientific perspective and can design systems, policies, and procedures that bring out the best in people every day. These folks are always well-liked.

#9 all forms of reorganizing

What’s wrong?

Financial considerations almost always trump human ones in any form of reorganization. None will be successful without the energetic, enthusiastic behavior of all employees. Yet plans for creating such behavior are usually a mere afterthought.

What to do instead!

Make decisions quickly. Incorporate the best practices of both organizations into the work of the new organization. Integrate policies, management practices, and mangers. Make sure that all managers know how to build positive reinforcement into all of the work of the new organization on the first day so that employees will see that it is and can trust that all will be okay.

I often use the phrase “poor leadership costs a lot of money and is a terrible waste of human potential.”

I was recently asked by one of my clients to prove it.

So, I put together some statistics on the cost of bad leadership and the upside of excellent leadership.

My Client needed this information so that he could help support making the investment in hiring me to do a leadership training workshop for his organization.

Most people understand that subpar leaders/managers have a negative impact on the organization. However, when you look at how big the cost of poor leadership really is, then you begin to re-examine the importance of leadership development within the company.

In order to review the high cost of poor leadership, I am sharing the information I sent to my client:

Poor leadership practices cost companies millions of dollars each year by negatively impacting employee retention, customer satisfaction, and overall employee productivity.

 Evidence of the High Cost of Poor Leadership

 According to research from the Blanchard Company:

• Less-than-optimal leadership practices cost the typical organization an amount equal to as much as 7% of their total annual sales.
• At least 9% and possibly as much as 32% of an organization’s staff turnover can be avoided through better leadership skills.
• Better leadership can generate a 3-4% improvement in customer satisfaction scores and a corresponding 1.5% increase in revenue growth.

• Most organizations are operating with a 5-10% productivity drag that better leadership practices could eliminate.

According to Gallup:

• It’s a sad truth about the workplace: just 30% of employees are actively committed to doing a good job.
• Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace report indicates that 50% of employees merely put their time in, while the remaining 20% act out their discontent in counterproductive ways, negatively influencing their coworkers, missing days on the job, and driving customers away through poor service.
• Gallup estimates that the 20% group alone costs the U.S. economy around half a trillion dollars each year.
• The single greatest cause for employee disengagement? Poor leadership.

According to Harvard:

• Quite simply, the better the leader, the more engaged the staff. Take the results from a recent study on the effectiveness of 2,865 leaders in a large financial services company.

There was a straight-line correlation here between levels of employee engagement and our measure of the overall effectiveness of their supervisors.

The best leaders (those in the 90^th percentile) were supervising the happiest, most engaged, and most committed employees — those happier than more than 92% of their colleagues.

Get your free E-Book to learn more and get tips on fixing this drag on your bottom line.  

Arthur Brooks is one of my favourite thinkers and writers.

Though we have never met, I would love the opportunity to sit, enjoy a meal and a fine scotch with him, just for the sheer joy of the conversation. 

Brooks believes that America is being torn apart, but the problem isn’t one of incivility, intolerance, or even anger.

He says the problem is contempt.

Defines as the conviction that those who disagree with us are not just wrong, but worthless.

Arthur Brooks explains why contempt is so destructive and offers three rules to follow to overcome contempt with warm-heartedness in our own lives.

Read about being kind as a boss

He offers practical suggestions for how to fight back against the culture of contempt.

Here are three to get you started:

1. Practice the 5 to 1 rule. Offer five positive and encouraging comments for every one criticism, especially on social media. You’ll be amazed at how changing this one aspect of your interactions with others improves public discourse.

2. Stand up for people who aren’t in the room. It’s easier than ever to bash the people who disagree with us, but it only foments contempt. If your friends who agree with you start mocking people who disagree with you, don’t be a jerk, but stand up for those not represented.

3. Ask yourself who in your life you’ve treated with contempt, and make amends. Contempt creates a vicious cycle, but by acknowledging how you have hurt others with mockery or dismissiveness, you’ll be able to repair relationships.

Brook’s details all of this and more in a short, animated video about why contempt is so destructive and what we can do to fight back against it today. You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/8dv1ORTvm8w

What about you?

Where can you demonstrate warm-heartedness in our own life?

The world is littered with failed construction supervisors who used to be perfectly good carpenters.

First-time managers are a challenge to work for.

They are people who got promoted by doing a non-management job well, and they probably have little experience in their new role.

We have all seen the bright, shiny and super competent accountant, carpenter or widget-maker that was well liked by Management and was rewarded by being promoted to a supervisory position.

In last week’s blog post we discussed how being the boss wasn’t all sunshine and roses. It is even worse for the first time boss. World peace doesn’t break out nor do cats start sleeping with dogs just because you are in charge.

Read the Blog: 4 lonely truths of being the Boss

I am currently working with a client who is a technically and intellectually brilliant. He was promoted to a team leader role and now he is super frustrated with lack of results.

His problem? No one has ever taught him to be a boss, yet here he is, The Boss.

Here are the five secrets he could have used to avoid, the all too common, mistakes that will undermine the new boss fastest.

1. Focusing on people instead of tasks

Before the promotion, your job was come to work every day and do the best job you could do. You were there to get stuff done.

Now your number one job is to help other people contribute to the accomplishment of the organization’s mission and objectives.

Sorry, but you can’t avoid the fact that you will have tasks, too: reports, budgets, planning but these are secondary to helping other people to do their job.

You have to get to know your people to understand what rings their bell, what demotivates them, what is going on at home and how to get the best work from them.

Related: Click here to read more about motivation

2. Transition out of the old and into the new

You can’t do your new job well if you’re still doing your old job.

First, get rid of the stuff from your old position and get over any illusion that you were indispensable to your old team.

Negotiate with your old and new boss to offload your old tasks so you can focus on your new role.

Your old job will be done well. Accept that it won’t be done the way you would do it, but it will be done well … so get over yourself.

3. Partner with your boss

Managing up is a bogus and disrespectful concept. You have to figure out what matters to your boss, and your boss’s boss, and make that stuff matter to you.

I used to ask my Boss what her performance objectives were. Guess what?

Poof and suddenly my work had better contribute to her objectives.

4. Buy yourself time

A client just accepted a position where she is managing three times the number of people she had been. Her management issues didn’t multiply by three; they grew exponentially by a factor of 3.

To get a grip on the scope of what she is facing I coached her to begin to fill only 75% of her time in her calendar. People will want to talk to her and a million things that will fill that ‘free’ 25% of time.

Read about the leadership magic of the number 75

5. Use silence to listening

Listen to the organization. Get people out of the workplace so they are comfortable enough to start talking. Ask open-ended questions then shut up and let people talk.

Remember that one of the most annoying things about any manager — or anyone for that matter — is when they just won’t shut up.

Related: click here to read about using silence in a conversation