How Do You Want People to View Your Advice?
Advice.
As leaders, we give quite a bit of it—so much that we probably don’t think that much about it. We need to think much more about it. We need to consider it in three dimensions: why we are delivering it, how we are delivering it, and what we want people to do with it.
Let’s look at each dimension.
Why Are You Giving Advice?
I believe that whether we are thinking about it or not, every time we give advice to anyone (as a leader, parent, spouse, friend, or stranger), we are considering that advice somewhere on the scale between taking it as gospel (do it exactly like this) and its guidance (here’s something to consider). But these two goals aren’t exact or perfect – instead, we see our advice somewhere on this scale:
In my experience, most leaders consistently place their goal for advice on this continuum, whether based on habit or style or without even thinking.
We call the tension between the ends, both/and thinking, the underpinning of being a flexible leader.
There are times when the context warrants your goal being far to the “gospel” left (when the context is clear and the outcomes and situation are known), and times when perhaps there are many unknowns and your experience might be helpful but should be seen on the “guidance” right side of the scale. Even given those considerations, you might have goals for delegating and developing your Team members, leading you to lean to the right or left on this continuum.
First, I would suggest that you be clear about your intention—why are you giving this advice, and how do you want others to use it? If you don’t think about that, how people interpret your advice will be left to their perception, which might not match your goals or needs.
What Do You Want Them to Do with It?
Your answer to this question flows from your intention. Consider this situation and these two employees. You face an apparent problem. You have seen this situation or challenge before and have successfully overcome it with a specific set of reliable steps.
One has been on your Team for a couple of months. He shows promise but lacks extensive experience and doesn’t know all the players involved in the situation well.
The other has been on your Team longer. She does have experience with this situation. She also shows great promise and is ready for advancement and skill development.
I propose that each employee has different contexts, so your intentions for each differ. Based on this information, even though you have a proven process each could follow, you should have slightly different goals for each.
I might lean the intention of my advice to the left for less experienced – giving him more of a “how to” approach and more to the right for the other – giving her guidance and things to consider.
Note that your current intention concerns your experience and knowledge and how you want others to apply it.
Hopefully, it will be in a way that makes either Joel or Jael crystal clear on your expectations.
How are You Delivering it?
The big idea is that your delivery should match your intention and desired action.
Given your positional power, if you want people to follow your advice verbatim, deliver it clearly and maybe even pointedly. If you have a current approach and want them to follow it, clarify it.
But if you want your advice to be seen as guidance – and more suggestion than imperative – make sure that is clear, too. You will likely want to use a softer tone and delivery as well.
As “the boss,” people may likely default to a “yes, boss” belief about your intent unless you are clear about yourself and with them.
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