Category Performance Management

99% of being a leader has everything to do with interpersonal relationships and social interactions.

And not every interaction is with someone you like.

Read more about working with that SOB in Accounting

The book Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box by The Arbinger Institute is easy to read and written in the form of a fable.

The gist of the book is that conflict between people is based on our self-deception that we view others as either a help or hindrance and begin to feel we are more critical than others.

Whether it is a family member or that ‘idiot’ at work, this perception becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We inflate our self-worth while deflating the other person until we rationalize our behaviour by blaming the other person.

How does the book suggest how we can get past this self-deception?

1. Have empathy. Treat people like people. When you are in the box and are being self-deceptive, you treat others as objects, not as human beings.  

This doesn’t mean you don’t fire someone who isn’t right for a job; firing can be done by seeing the other person as an object or as a person among people.

2. Don’t let your expectations affect your view of someone’s actions. One way of being in the box is having a view of a person or the world and then fitting all the evidence to reinforce your view.  

Suppose you expect someone to be a particular way. In that case, you view their actions differently. “we subconsciously begin to ignore or dismiss anything that threatens our worldviews, since we surround ourselves with people and information that confirm what we already think.”

3. When you betray your sense of what you should do for another, you begin to see the world in a way that justifies your betrayal. And that leads to blaming others and viewing yourself as a victim.

For example, if you are sure that SOB is a jerk, everything that person does will begin to reinforce that perception, Even if he is doing the right thing.

4. Self-betrayal leads to self-deception. When you engage in self-deception, you are in the box. You exaggerate your virtues, inflate the faults of others, and emphasize factors that support your self-deception.  

 When you betray your core values, you explain the betrayal by deceiving yourself.  

5. Being in the box leads others to be in the box. By justifying your view of the world and acting and communicating accordingly, others will develop a view of you that causes them to be in the box. 

The leadership self-betrayal results when we don’t do what is right and justify that action or inaction to protect our egos. This leads to us shifting the blame onto others. We start to view others as activating or stumbling blocks – they help or hinder us.

This book’s message is that the problem often lies within ourselves, and only through self-awareness can we move forward.

I wish I had read this book in my twenties when I was starting my leadership journey … except I suspect I had deceived myself and was so self-absorbed that it would have been lost on me.

As is most good life advice. 

We’ve all been there.

Once a year, our manager would call us into their office and review what we had done well throughout the year – or, more likely, what we had done wrong eleven months ago. Then we would leave the manager’s office and return to work exactly like before.

Nothing changed! This is why it’s time to replace the performance review process.

Read more about the difference between High Potential and High Performance.

Need more reasons?

Performance Reviews Aren’t Effective – Performance reviews rarely lead to a change in behaviour by the manager or the employee. Year after year, most managers give employees the same feedback. And most employees don’t do anything in response. One reported that as little as one-third of employees showed improvement after their annual review. That’s likely because performance reviews rarely offer actionable steps for employees to take when struggling.

Performance Reviews Aren’t Reliable – Seventy-seven percent of HR executives believe performance reviews don’t accurately reflect employee contributions, according to CEB research. And CEB’s HR practice leader Rose Mueller-Hanson agrees with those executives. She states, “Our research shows that individual performance ratings have zero correlation with actual business results.”

Performance Reviews Are Time-Consuming – A recent CEB survey found that managers spend an average of 210 hours yearly in performance management activities. Managers said their employees, in turn, each spend 40 hours a year. Deloitte reported that its approximately 244,000 employees spent more than 2 million hours a year on performance reviews. That’s much time spent on something that is proven to be unreliable and ineffective.

Performance Reviews Are Costly – Besides the time it takes to perform annual reviews, there’s the actual cost. According to information from the CEB, a company spends about $3,500 per employee on yearly reviews.

Given the time and cost of performance reviews, it’s surprising that more companies haven’t given them up yet. But if those aren’t enough reasons for you, the new research on how ineffective and misleading they are!

It’s time to stop evaluating performance and invest in potential.

High potentials can be challenging to identify for two reasons:

First, high performance is easy to observe and drowns out the less obvious attributes and behaviours that characterize high potentials—such as change management or learning capabilities.

Second, few organizations codify the attributes and competencies they value in their ideal employees—which means that managers don’t know precisely what to look for to assess potential.

As a result, most managers focus exclusively on performance, which can be a problem.

When performance is the only criterion employees are evaluated on, high performers will be the only ones moving up—and high potentials will move out.

You should value and reward performance, but it can’t be the only entry point.

Learn more about the Better Leader Inner Circle

What are the key characteristics of high-potential employees?

The characteristics of high-potential employees include Ability, Aspiration, Behaviour, Social Skills, Adaptability and Leadership. These traits are critical to identifying employee abilities that can contribute to the business and enable employers to put development programmes in place to maximize the skills of these individuals.

Ability relates to performance, an individual’s expertise, innate skills, and capacity to work autonomously and consistently deliver results. 

Aspiration is the desire to grow, taking accountability for decision-making. They share a drive to achieve, individually and as a team, and support and encourage growth.

Behaviour is one of the easiest traits to identify. High Potential Employees Show an increased capability to learn, cooperate with others and manage their behaviours and emotions and how they behave under pressure.

Social skills and High Emotional Intelligence allow High Potential Employees to adapt their personalities to different responsibilities and changing circumstances.

Adaptability. Under pressure, High Potential Employees usually remain calm, continue to perform, and can pivot easily.

Leadership is imperative for High Potential Employees to understand and respect quality leadership and aspire to fulfil such roles successfully.

Most of us hate performance management programs.

Why?

Because:

• Performance management is usually seen as a bureaucratic HR process you are forced to do.
• We are not sure of the value performance management adds to the business.
• Performance management models change as often as the soup of the day.
• We have all had performance management nightmares.
• Mine:
• • • One employer changed the performance management system five times in 13 years;
    • Another had a rigid, complicated and frustrating system with no connection to pay or promotions;
    • Another had never completed performance management for anyone, ever.

If you want to improve your current process, here are six issues to address to ensure you get the highest return on your investment.

Challenge #1: Lack of strategic focus

The company’s strategy and goals must be integrated into its performance management process to deliver real business value. Too many goals will likely leave your employees feeling confused, unaligned, and inefficient.

Simplifying and prioritizing your company goals and focusing your performance management on a few critical goals will help your employees understand how their everyday work and individual goals will help achieve them.

Read about connecting performance management and strategic goals

Challenge #2: Lack of timely, meaningful feedback

When you wait until the formal performance review to provide feedback, employees may feel blindsided, leading to disappointment, confusion, frustration, and disengagement.

Train your managers to provide timely, meaningful feedback when positive behaviours or performance issues occur. Waiting too long to give feedback hurts your company’s employee morale, engagement, and, ultimately, your business performance.

Read about recognition

Challenge #3: Lack of leadership support

Leaders must be committed, actively engage their teams in performance management activities, and support and recognize managers and employees who exhibit the expected behaviours and actions.

Without leadership support, performance management will not be successful, no matter how well-designed the process is.

Challenge #4: Lack of proper training and communication

Leaders and managers may not fully understand what performance management is and what’s in it.

It is crucial to explain the benefits of performance management and provide ongoing training to help leaders and managers obtain the appropriate knowledge, behaviours, and skills to engage their teams in performance management activities properly.

Challenge #5: Lack of appropriate recognition and rewards

Rewards are significant in recognizing and promoting top performance and keeping your employees engaged, motivated, and inspired about their future with the company.

A valuable reward and recognition program should have clear expectations and criteria around the behaviours and actions that drive your company forward.

Read about good objectives going bad.

Challenge #6: Lack of simplicity

Whether you currently have performance management in place or not, the process you ultimately implement should be simple, easy to understand and use.

Managers and employees should not have to spend hours learning your new processes and tools or look for the performance-related information and forms they need.

Final Thoughts

Poor performance management is costly, delivers very little value, and can lower your employee engagement level and harm your business growth.

When done right, the impact of effective performance management is significant on your bottom line and will stop your top performers from walking out the door.

The goal of a leader is to ensure that your team finds a solution to their problem.

To do that, they have to know what the problem is. You must know how to ask open-ended leadership questions to ensure successful conversations. Open-ended questions are essential for any leadership strategy because they allow you to understand your employee’s wishes and needs with subtlety.

What Is an Open-Ended Leadership Question?

An open-ended question is not one with a simple answer. When understanding an employee’s motivations and goals, you don’t want curt “yes” or “no” answers; you want them to deliberate and talk at length.

You want to know their point of view, and open-ended questions make that happen. The more the employee says in response to the first question, the more details you have to ask further questions.

The clearest example of an open-ended versus a closed-ended question is “Do you have any questions?” versus “What questions can I answer?”. The first could prompt a simple “no,” and then there is a lull in the conversation. The second, however, starts your listener to deliberate longer and ask several questions they may not have thought of.

Questions usually asked by leaders include fact-gathering questions, goal-oriented questions, and rapport-building questions. All of these are good and useful to the leadership process, but each needs to allow for an open-ended answer and tie in with the larger goals and needs of the employee.

Benefits of Open-Ended Question

Many things, asking open-ended questions equips you with better leadership skills. For example:

• It allows you to build trust and rapport with the employee, as it demonstrates your interest.
• You can learn more about the employee wants and preferences and define needs, goals, challenges, and other data.
• It places you as the expert in the discussion, presenting your value. 

Open-Ended Rapport-Building Questions

Rapport-building questions start the conversation, get your employees talking, and help you understand the person you’re working with. It can also make you both more comfortable with a more personal connection and allow you to begin gathering the necessary information.

Examples:

• • Can you tell me about your priorities for this meeting?
  • What is your background?
  • How is business going?
  • Please tell me about your upcoming plans for the year.
  • What would you like to see improve?
  • What is your biggest challenge right now?
  • Could you list your concerns in this area?

 Open-Ended Qualifying Questions

These questions can help determine the interest level of your employee in how you’ve approached the conversation. It can also let you know how to proceed. Not every employee will buy what you’re selling, and it’s essential to figure out how much an employee is committed.

Examples:

• • What is your timeline for this to be resolved?
  • What do you see as the next steps moving forward?
  • How do you decide this?
  • When should you assess these solutions?
  • How should we move forward after this?

Open-Ended Priority Questions

These questions help discover and address your employees’ roadblocks or concerns and further understand their priorities and needs. These questions should be carefully constructed so as not to steer the conversation toward something that can’t be fixed. Be sure to treat each employee individually, and don’t assume you know their priorities based only on similar customers.

Examples:

• What would you like to achieve in the upcoming year?
• How is that problem changing how you operate?
• What isn’t working in the current setup?
• What improvements are you hoping to gain from this?
• What would prevent you from making this change right now?

 Open-Ended Discovery Questions

A discovery question should be clarifying and probing, provoking thought and deliberation in your employee. The better you understand the employee’s wishes, the better you can tailor a solution to their needs.

Examples:

• • What are your intentions for the future?
  • Can you elaborate on that?
  • What are your reservations?
  • What needs to be fixed with the current process?
  • What have I not covered that you’d like to hear more about?

 Open-Ended Goal-Based Questions

These help you discover the wishes and wants of your employees if you listen closely. When you know what’s holding them back from achieving their goals, you can better assist them with a solution. Focusing on the benefits of your product and how they attune to the purposes of the employee can also help close a deal.

Examples:

• • Why do you think this solution isn’t working?
  • How is the problem affecting your work?
  • What do you want this meeting to achieve?
  • How should we assess the success of this?
  • What could we do to avoid similar problems?

 Responding to the Answers to Open-Ended Questions

Be sure to ask your questions without rushing into them or being pushy. Show your genuine interest. Your questions should make your employees talk for as long as they want, and you must be sure to listen to them and provide helpful conversation. Be patient and don’t interrupt; everything you hear can benefit a sale.

Learning How to Ask the Right Questions

Increasing your experience with leadership discussions will allow you to keep a better ear out for helpful information.

When you know what to look for, you will find that subsequent conversations will go easier.

You are not your 2 AM conversations;

not your 3 AM nightmares;

not your 4 AM regrets

– Mark Dimaisip

I don’t mind telling you that business could always be better.

Or I miss the energies created by surrounding myself with a powerful team.

Or that I am often awake at 4:00.

So maybe that is why Mark Dimaisip’s poem resonated with me, as did the Hidden Brain podcast episode on regret.

Everyone has regrets.

Some say regret is the most common emotion.

Amy Summerville, who runs the Regret Lab at Miami University in Ohio, says:

‘we ruminate thoughts that spring unwanted to mind, and we chew them over without getting anything new out of them, they’re just repeatedly, intrusively, becoming part of our mental landscape.’

We don’t have time for all of my regrets; besides, that is why they invented rye.

But I would like to touch on my three leadership regrets that run rampant in my mind at 4:00 AM

1. Anger

Given the right set of triggers, I have a temper that can flash and lash out.

I’ve written about this and don’t understand where it comes from.

When it happens, it diminishes me, my leadership, my organization, and my people.

I have learned to manage it by being more aware of situations that may trigger the flash and trying to excuse myself, walk away, and disengage.

Read More About Not Being An Ass

2. Mediocrity

Far too often, I have allowed people to push me toward mediocrity.

As leaders, we know the right thing to do, yet people and systems cause us to settle.

And when we settle, nobody is happy.

People-pleasing only creates soup sandwiches, a mess where no one is satisfied.

Read More About Soup Sandwiches

3. Kindness

The business decisions I regret the most are those I wish I had acted out with more kindness.

Too often, I made decisions based on what I, our bosses or the mission demanded.

Decisions are made without humanity and care for the people impacted.

I know some of the decisions I have made hurt people.

That doesn’t make them wrong or even bad decisions.

But I wish I could get mulligans on a few where I could have been more honest, kind, and generous.

Final Thoughts

My experience tells me that your leadership experience would undoubtedly be happier with less anger, less mediocrity, and more kindness.

Happiness is a choice.

Focus on the positives.

Be self-aware.

Practice deliberate, purposeful, and thoughtful actions.

Understand that ambition and success will not lead to a life of fewer regrets.

Don’t get caught up in what you don’t have.

Be mindful and purposeful of the opportunities right in front of you.

Mrs. CEO,

I am one of your employees.

I work in operations, and I don’t have a fancy title.

I like working here, I like what I do, and I love my career. My role here has grown in ways I never expected, and I am thrilled with my job’s direction.

I wanted to write you because I only saw you at last year’s Zoom Christmas party or on the website, but I never had the chance to talk to you.

I understand that you are super busy running the company, travelling, and keeping stakeholders & shareholders happy.

And I didn’t want to come off as a whiner, but I wanted to share a few of the things that I see, but you might not notice:

Corporate Strategy – I know your executive teams think about Strategy from time to time.

But at my level, I know my tasks, but I have no idea how I contribute to the company’s success. When I asked my supervisor, he threw his hands up and said It didn’t matter because Corporate had no idea.

Read why your employees don’t give a rat’s $%^# about your precious Strategy.

Company Values – Our corporate values look good on the banner and the website, but it doesn’t seem to impact me.

There are roadblocks everywhere to getting our work done.

And it seems better to keep our mouths shut than try to tell a supervisor about problems.

Read about values and keeping employees.

Performance – I have been passed over for a promotion several times. It never seems fair because nobody has ever taken the time to explain why.

I want to get promoted or get a raise, but the process seems mysterious, and nobody knows how the system works.

Read about avoiding performance management fails.

Town halls & Teleconferences – I think I know what you are trying to do, but they are hours long and full of last year’s numbers and technical jargon.

Read about how not to screw up talking to your employees

The company you describe in your presentations sounds like Google, and as much as I want to believe your description, it doesn’t feel that way.

I struggle to know why you see a different picture of the company than we do.

I try to have a positive attitude and look for ways to contribute more, but the people I work with are frustrated and discouraged. No one seems to know what is going on, the reorganization a few months ago was nerve-racking, and we are all a bit scared.

I want success for the company because I like it here. But I must admit, I am struggling to understand why our managers are not trained to help us get there.

Maybe you, or some of your executives, could stop presenting to us, stop by the shop floor, talk with us, and listen to us. You might learn that there seems to be something missing because things are not going well at my level.

We like you, the company and our jobs and only want the best for everyone. We need to understand.

Sincerely,

Your Worried But Loyal Worker

Written with credit to several online examples